a5c7b9f00b When a fracking environmental accident rips apart the earth's crust, the resulting hole lets out prehistoric sharks from underground. The sharks target a group of women and trap them in a cabin.
When a fracking environmental accident rips apart the earth's crust, the resulting hole lets out prehistoric sharks from underground. The sharks target a group of women and trap them in a cabin.<br/><br/>So, what is there to be said about this film? Jim Wynorski filmed in Florida, primarily because of the need for a cave, but also because his investors were Florida-based Cubans. He brought along actress Amy Holt, who has worked with Wynorski a few times, and included Traci Lords, who went mainstream thanks to Wynorski. Lords gives possibly her worst performance ever, and is cast in a role that really has nothing to do with the primary story.<br/><br/>I was not expecting much going into this film. I knew it was made-for-TV, and I've seen enough of Wynorski's work to know that his best years are long, long behind him. I had a little bit of hope because Tony Randel was attachedan editor and producer, and his name still carries weight. Randel brought along his daughter, Sofia Randel, who designed the main title sequence. That was canceled out by Traci Lords, who is grossly overrated and still somehow skirting by on her notoriety.<br/><br/>As cheesythe CGI might be, allegedly it had even worse CGI the first time around and they had to call a second company in to redo it. Even the second company seemed to have a problem with continuity – ground displaced by sharks in one moment is back in place the next. There were also legal complications, thanks to a meth-smoking production assistant. Never mind some of the plot nonsense, like the forced romantic moments and the so-called "first edition" of Charles Dickens' "A Tale of Two Cities" (which adds nothing to the story).<br/><br/>The film has a few nods or homages, suchto "Journey to the Center of the Earth". Also, Wynorski has always loved "Attack of the Crab Monsters" and wanted to remake it. He has said a script was written, but Roger Corman "didn't want to do it – he thinks too much of the original film to do a remake." Wynorski was able to sneak in a reference or two to "Crab Monsters" here.<br/><br/>The best anyone can hope for with these sorts of movies is that they are so bad they cross back over into good again, because we can laugh at how stupid they are. I'm afraid to say this one never crosses over. It tries, and the Asian jokes are funny… but it seems to expect to be carried by trashy women with big breasts. I suppose for some people that's all you need.<br/><br/>Wynorski's next film, "Cobragator", was also filmed in the same Florida town, though financially backed by different producers. So look forward to seeing some of the same sets when that hits your screen in the summer of 2016.
This was stupid, even for shark movies! Yes, that might be a bold statement, but watch the movie and you will see for yourself.<br/><br/>First of all, I will say that the movie does gain some credit for having a creative movie title. I mean "Sharkansas Women's Prison Massacre" just sounds like something that could be fun.<br/><br/>But it quickly becomes apparent that this is going to be one of those movies; you know, a stinker. When the prison truck comes to a halt and you see the female prisoners disembark and they are all wearing jean shorts and tight tops. Right, what prison provides its inmates with such outfits? And that kind of clothing hardly seems appropriate for going on a clearing duty in a swamp area.<br/><br/>Then the movie quickly rolls downhill fast, especially when you see the sharks and how poorly animated they are. And when the sharks start to swim through solid soil and earth, it just culminates in a hitherto unseen level of stupidity.<br/><br/>And the weapons that were used in the movie was children toys. Yes, children toys. There is a scene where the Michelle Alika character finds a hidden stash of guns in the cabin, and when she picks them up you can clearly hear that they are just plastic toysthey clank together. And in that very same scene you can see that the end nozzles of the guns are closed tight with plastic. It was just idiotic that the film makers though they could pass children's toys offreal guns.<br/><br/>For a shark movie, or a creature feature, then special effects and having believable creatures is a must. And "Sharkansas Women's Prison Massacre" didn't manage to deliver any of this. The special effects were laughable and questionable, and the shark even more so.<br/><br/>This is essentially a movie just to showcase the female cast of the movie, that being in particular Dominique Swain, Christine Nguyen and Cindy Lucas. But wait, it gets better, because Traci Lords is here tooa detective. Yep!<br/><br/>I sat down to watch "Sharkansas Women's Prison Massacre" because of Dominique Swain, but must admit that this was nowhere near her finest moment. And it was actually Christine Nguyen who ended up carrying the movie with her performance.<br/><br/>"Sharkansas Women's Prison Massacre" is a laughable attempt at making a shark movie. And if you enjoy shark movies, then there are far, far better choices available out there.


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